John Kerry, the haughty French-looking Massachusetts Democrat who voted both for and against the $87 billion, doesn't own his own family's SUV, and can't decide whether or not he wants to be nominated at his own party's nominating convention, will be in Seattle this Wednesday. The city's most liberal denizens (liberal with their own money as well as everybody else's) will be paying $1,000 a plate for the privilege of being bored to tears by the Democratic Party's least inspiring candidate since John Davis lost to Calvin Coolidge in 1924.

For those who don't have a spare $1,000 to blow on the fancy-pants dinner at the Westin but still want to welcome John Kerry to Seattle, there will be an unsanctioned but spirited, uh, welcoming party across the street from the Westin's main entrance in the triangle park this Wednesday, May 26 from 4:30pm - 6:00 pm.

Come give a big Seattle hello! to John Kerry. Bring your flip-flops, your waffles, your douchebags and dress up as an effete elitist Frenchman if you dare.