May 09, 2004
John Kerry is not a douchebag

As Nick Gillespie hypothesizes:

Kerry may well be the first presidential candidate in history whose supporters—yes, supporters—have likened him to a feminine hygiene product.
He's referring to this website: www.johnkerryisadouchebagbutimvotingforhimanyway.com. I can understand why some might believe that Kerry is a hopelessly inadequate candidate and would make a terrible chief executive -- Mark Steyn gives us some reasons here, so does this limp WaPo attempt to portray Kerry as not such a bad guy after all.

But a douchebag? Come on.

Surely there are other feminine hygiene products that describe Kerry more accurately. How about any one of the following --

a) a Tampax
b) an antipanti
c) a tube of Monistat 7
d) a disposable nursing pad
e) a Magic Clean bidet

But to be perfectly honest, this comparison with feminine hygine products is just plain insulting and dumb. All of the above products (douchebags included) deliver important health benefits to millions of women every day. A more apropos metaphor for John Kerry would be an annoying and/or dangerous medical condition. For example --

a) a urinary tract infection
b) an ectopic pregnancy
c) morning sickness
d) pre-menstrual cramps
e) acute mastitis
f) a bleeding hemorrhoid

Posted by Stefan Sharkansky at May 09, 2004 10:01 PM
Comments

I was going to vote for Kerry, but your persuasive argument has one me over. I could never vote for an ectopic pregnancy. I guess I'll have to vote Repubelickin' instead.

Posted by: Simon on May 11, 2004 10:39 AM

How about Toxic Shock Syndrome?

Posted by: timekeeper on May 12, 2004 11:29 AM
New comments may be posted only from the 'Comments' links at the bottom of each entry on the blog home page