The infeasible Seattle Monorail Project has launched a $7 million ad campaign designed, apparently, to fool voters into forgetting about the Monorail Project's yawning financial shortfall that the ad campaign only exacerbates. As part of the campaign, today's Seattle Times carried a double-page color ad.
Unfortunately, I can't find a copy of the ad online, but the claims are interesting, to say the least. First, the Monorail claims to be even more energy-efficient than a perpetual mobile machine:
No combustion. [Fossils everywhere are breathing sighs of relief.]Sadly, the supply of hydro-electric power is not infinite and all that electricity to be consumed by the Monorail would require City Light to burn a lot of, uh, coal and natural gas that it is not burning today.The Monorail has no engine. It burns no fossil fuels. It has an electric motor.
The Monorail also claims that it will fabricate human beings who don't currently exist:
It's expected to have 69,000 riders every weekday, which in turn will reduce car use by around 5 million trips a year.Now hold on. 69,000 riders every weekday (assuming that's a realistic number) comes out to nearly 18 million round trips a year. Where do these extra 13 million trips come from? Some may choose to ride the Monorail instead of the bus, but why build a new form of public transportation only to draw ridership from another? Some pedestrians and bicyclists might opt to ride the 'rail, but that's hardly a step in the right direction. Some people who might not otherwise come to Seattle might choose to visit just for the novelty value of riding the Monorail, but there are more cost-effective ways to create tourist traps. Are there shut-ins who now refuse to leave the house pending the coming of the Monorail? Or will thousands of Monorail riders simply be willed into existence along with the as yet non-existent money to pay for the silly thing? Posted by Stefan Sharkansky at April 14, 2004 10:36 PM
Fool! Your facts and logic are no match for the power of Utopian Fantasies. Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Posted by: V the K on April 15, 2004 09:39 AMThe Monorail has no engine. It burns no fossil fuels. It has an electric motor.
Well, that'll fool the kind of people who think that electricity is something that comes out of a wall socket...
Posted by: Brian Swisher on April 15, 2004 11:34 AMBut think of the gift of Humour that the monorail gives Seattle.
That's right...
A Monorail!, right here in th' em'rald city!
It's humorous until the commissars decide to spend seven million bucks of my money to tell me what to think about monorails.
Posted by: Insufficiently Sensitive on April 15, 2004 06:11 PMBut Ogdenville, North Haverbrook, and Brockway all have monorails!
Posted by: Mike Silverman on April 16, 2004 08:42 AMI agree, it will be a waste. But you have to wonder about a society where people can't walk 1/8 mile and drive 2.5 ton 4wd pickups everywhere, especially to the fast food drive throughs. Then we wonder why gas is so expensive and people are so fat! Better spend the money building useful pedestrian paths to connect the shopping centers to the neighborhoods next to them. Americans have degenerated into a race of semi-literate, energy wasting fat blobs and the right celebrates this in the name of freedom and the economy!
Posted by: Jakester on April 18, 2004 11:57 AMUm, yeah, then we can all try to lug ten bags of groceries home after walking to the store. And, I'm sure everyone's work wants to increase lunch hours wo everyone can walk. And that I want to make fast food a half hour trip. There's a little sarcasm here, if you can't tell.
Being fat makes us not free, so we need the government to save us with social engineering! Then we'll really be free!
Uh, no thanks.
Posted by: David Scott on April 22, 2004 01:29 PM