Mono-derail

While the rest of the country is fixated on the California recall, Seattle goes to the polls on Sept. 16 to elect a host of local officials.

For example, we need to vote in a slate of directors to oversee the expensive, unnecessary and underfunded monorail system that might not ever be built.

The most serious candidate in the race is Cindi Laws, director of the Rainier Institute, which is described as a "non-partisan progressive think tank" ("non-partisan" in the sense that is "non-Republican"). Although the monorail is funded by a tax on automobiles[sic], Cindi Laws' main qualification for the job is that she rides the bus.

"I make less than $50,000 a year," she said. "I came from a background off and on public assistance."

Better put her financial acumen to work overseeing the Monorail's multi-billion dollar budget.

Laws' best known opponent, on the other hand, is no idiot. Stan Lippman has earned a B.S. in physics from New York University; a Ph.D. in physics from Johns Hopkins University; and a J.D. from the University of Washington. He's not a dummy, but he is a lunatic. His prior experience is that he

has entered local races on a platform of opposing mandatory vaccinations. Regarding the monorail, Lippman said the region would be best served by a 200-mile elevated system that uses frictionless, magnetic-levitation train technology.

Maybe Spacely Sprockets can win the contract.

Posted by Stefan Sharkansky at September 03, 2003 07:00 AM