Among the loonier ballot initiatives to inflict a major city of late is Seattle's Initiative 77, which seeks to impose a 10¢ a glass tax on espresso beverages to fund nursery schools (drip coffee, diet colas and hot cocoa remain untaxed, statutory public education remains underfunded).

Should this measure succeed, we can expect a whole slew of hilarious non-sequitur taxes, such as:

A 5¢ per spud tax on Yellow Finn potatoes to give women, minorities and undocumented immigrants free oil changes (for their automobiles).

A 68¢ per mile tax on nude bicycle racing to support programs that teach single mothers how to defend themselves from falling lava.