Yesterday morning at the coffee house I heard the guy behind the counter yell out "Bagel for Zapolsky, bagel for Zapolsky". A few minutes later "There's still a bagel at the counter for Zapolsky". I noticed one of my new neighbors sitting outside at a sidewalk table. Her husband, I recalled, had introduced himself as Mr. Zapolsky, so I figured it was her bagel and she couldn't hear the barista from where she was sitting. So I went out and interrupted her business meeting to let her know about her bagel. "I didn't order a bagel" she said, glancing at the great big muffin on the plate in front of her.
"Never mind," I said, "I just heard them announce a bagel for Zapolsky"
"The name is Zaretsky," she said kindly, "but I don't go by that name anyway."

Yesterday evening at the Mariners game I met a guy whose name really was Zapolsky. I told him the story about the bagel. But it wasn't his bagel either.