August 02, 2002
Repealing the laws of nature
Anti-globalization activists, still unsure of whether or not their campaign to repeal the laws of economics will be successful, have already set their sights on a new goal: Repeal the laws of physics.
"Physics was invented by white European males in order to exploit people of color," according to Professor Mbuthukwe Sanchez of the SFSU Center for Imperialism Studies. "Gravity, in particular, has been shown to hurt women and minorities disproportionately", she/he said, citing a study by the Economic Progress Institute.
But Sanchez' main target is Relativity, which Sanchez admits she/he doesn't understand completely, but was invented by Albert Einstein, a Zionist, and led to the proliferation of nuclear weapons. "And anything that can justify another Hiroshima against non-white and transgendered people is simply unacceptable", she/he said.
Meanwhile, the Anti-Global League for Eco-Pacifism is leading a March on Washington next Tuesday to fight the First Law of Thermodynamics. "The so-called First Law was devised by the profit-thirsty oil companies to force people to consume their deplorable product and to justify the war in the Middle East and the annihilation of the rain forests in Ecuador", says group Chaircreature, Meadow Safelove. "Without this oppressive law we would have perpetual motion, which is a non-polluting, peaceful and affordable form of energy." Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-Uranus), sponsor of a House resolution to repeal all five laws of thermodynamics, will address the rally.
Posted by Stefan Sharkansky at August 02, 2002 07:00 AM
Funny stuff. Trouble is,it could
ALMOST be true!
Tom Bethell of the American Spectator has had at leat 2 articles published attacking Einstein and General Relativity as "Dada Physics". The April 1999 one has been removed from the web site, presumably out of shame, but Brad DeLong quotes (and dissects) at length one from '93 here. It ain't pretty.
Well done! Your readers might be interested in a similar parody. Physics professor Alan Sokal wrote a "paper" purporting to show that the laws of physics are a social construct. A post-modern academic journal, social text, did not discern that the article was a parody, and published it. You can read about it here:
Andrew Northrup's comment prompted me to do a Google search. [bethell relativity] It came as a shock to me how much of this stuff is out there. TONS. Some of it is like reading the Onion, except that these guys are dead serious. In addition to attacking both General and Special Relativity, they also go after the Big Bang, the Uncertainty Principle, and of course, evolution.
I think I found the 1999 Bethell paper, which had been copied and re-posted:
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The 1999 Bethell paper is not so easily dismissed. My Dad gave me a copy of it when it came out. He thought it was relatively convincing. And Dad has a PhD in Physics (went to MIT). Bethell cites Physicist Tom Van Flandern, whose article "The Speed of Gravity: What the Experiments Say" was published in the peer-reviewed Physical Review Letters. Far from trashing Relativity, it suggests an adjustment might be needed.
And we KNOW some kind of adjustment is needed. Quantum Mechanics and Relativity, the two great pillars of modern physics, are fundamentally incompatible with one another. Somethin's gotta give.